The Jewel Box: Time is the Real Gem
Contributing Author: Mary Ashley, NDAA Wellbeing Committee Vice Chair & Deputy District Attorney, San Bernardino County (CA)
During a visit with my mother, who happens to live in Las Vegas, I asked what she would like to do this weekend? A fancy dinner? A show on the Las Vegas Strip? Perhaps some shopping? Nope. My 80 year- old mother asked if I wouldn’t mind staying at home with her and helping her sort through her “costume jewelry” that she wanted to go through and purge. She had a full jewelry cabinet, the old-fashioned kind with drawers, that contained layers of trays of jewelry’s past. We came across some classics from the 80’s, where all earrings had to match the colors of your outfit and purse. We found some BIG earrings, bizarre lapel pins and a separate section for “holiday”, complete with Santa and skeleton earrings. The most interesting piece was a large necklace with a female figure on it in a garden that appeared to hold perfume in it. We guessed it was so the lady could always dab a bit of fragrance whenever needed throughout the evening. My mother told me that her mother always wore “Shalimar”, which was another memory that came about through our jewelry box project.
Research has found numerous benefits from cleaning out closets, decluttering and cleaning one’s home. According to an article in verywellmind.com by Sherri Gordon, (April 24, 2024) “the Connection Between Cleanliness and Mental Health”, merely the act of cleaning out clutter, people are able to take better control over their environment, create a more relaxing space, improve mood and reduce stress. Now mind you, my mother has always been a “neat freak” so-to-speak and her home is immaculate. But over time, she has accumulated, well, a lifetime of personal belongings. One documented strategy is getting others to help when it comes to having to “get rid of” old personal items, such as clothing, jewelry and mementos. For one, it’s simply easier to have help. An objective opinion from someone who does not have a personal connection to an item can certainly assist in its release without hesitancy or regret. Much easier said than done, however, when certain pieces hold memories and sentimental value. I can speak from personal experience that I like “stuff” and don’t like getting rid of my things, yet I am very happy to help others clean out their “stuff”.
For many of the bangles and bobbles, it was like taking a trip down memory lane. An occasion where a necklace was worn, a vacation where a pair of earrings were purchased or a pin that someone either made or gave to her for a holiday, all were a part of her history. We laughed quite a bit, which is also great medicine for the soul. I had a chance to ask questions about people from her past, periods of time that had gone by and what was going on in her life during these different eras. Watching my mom remember, with impressive detail, many of the stories, created a place of shared joy. As it turns out, there is a science behind the value of reminiscing, as a useful technique to amplify the benefit of fun. In the article “The Art and Science of Reminiscing” by Mike Rucker, Ph. D, November 26, 2022; www.phychologytoday.com ) reminiscing is an important method to help us manifest a state of pleasantness. Creating a “personal treasure chest” is a great technique for reminiscing, which is beneficial to our wellbeing and the benefits of life’s joys. Reminiscing is a tool for getting the most out of your moments after the moment, ensuring your good times contribute as much as possible to your well-being even years after the fun. It is this kind of joy that I experienced that afternoon. It also emphasized to me that is “ok” and even beneficial, to keep some of our old “treasures” despite the space they may take up or lack of financial “value” they now hold.
I wrote an article awhile back about “QTL”, quality time left, and this really punctuated exactly what that means. I will never forget the afternoon spent sorting through my mom’s old jewel box with her. What I had anticipated being a rather dull afternoon turned into a wonderful memory. And it didn’t cost a thing. And while I definitely still enjoy an evening out on the town, time was the real gem that day. The Las Vegas strip will always be there. Time with my mom won’t.
