Is the secret to longevity hidden deep in the blue?

Contributing Author: Kirsten Pabst, Former Missoula (MT) County Attorney & NDAA Wellbeing Committee Member

Sardina, Italy, was designated a Blue Zone, one of the five areas on Earth where the people live the longest. The Blue Zones Project was founded in 2010 by former National Geographic Explorer Dan Buettner, who traveled and studied places around the world where people routinely live for a hundred years. He wrote “The Blue Zones,” detailing his research and extracting longevity principles.

Last year, my youngest son, sister and I decided to go to Sardinia to see if we could soak up a little blue-zone magic. We rented a villa in a tiny town in rural South Sardinia, surrounded by goats, olive trees, and lemon orchards. Immediately, the regard the Sardinians held for other humans — locals and tourists alike — was palpable, from the coffee shops to the comradery at the rugged beaches. Not speaking any Italian, we would shop in tiny ‘ma and pa’ grocery stores where the owners, who spoke no English, would help fill our cart, convey recipes, wrap the fresh food in paper, while smiling and humming, conveying care and affection. The connection did not require words.

Buettner identified nine common traits the blue zones shared and not surprisingly three of those nine pertain to social connection. Living within a closeknit culture built around connection can improve mental fitness, slow cognitive decline, combat loneliness and isolation, and improve overall quality of life.

How is social connection related to wellbeing? Mirror neurons in the human brain foster connection and play a role in the neuroscience of empathy. We also know that authentic connection — or being truly heard — by another can flip the brain switch from the sympathetic system — fight, flight, freeze — back to the parasympathetic system — rest and digest.

Wellness icon Dr. Mark Hyman explains, “If you have a connected conversation with someone, it will turn on genes that shut of inflammation.”

Empathetic prosecutors can literally ease a victim’s discomfort through engaged listening.

The flip side of purposeful use of our mirror-neurons is that too much unregulated immersion can take our own systems out of the window of tolerance. We have heard from experts that the best prosecutors are those who connect with their victims and then authentically convey that complexity to jurors. Not surprisingly, those same prosecutors tend to be more susceptible to compassion fatigue, secondary trauma accumulation, and burnout. This is where colleagues come in. We can, if we so choose, serve as build-in resident switch flippers for each other.

Listening in a way that reduces stress in others is a skill that is learnable. Rabbi Sharon Brous explains in this short video how being present with people who are in pain — not fixing it, offering advice or worse, topping it — leads to healing. She said, “We have this misperception that when people are in pain we need to fix them, people think their job is to pull me out of the grief. Our job is to be present to the grief and present to the pain.” Simon Sinek, in the same conversation, describes how true connection requires both action and restraint. “Service isn’t pulling someone out of the mud, it is the willingness to get down in the mud with them. It isn’t fun, but it is a choice we make for those we care about.” [See also Simon Sinek on How to Make People Feel Heard]

Here are some simple ways to enhance our quality of connection, short of moving to Sardinia:

Prioritize connection. People in Blue Zones prioritize community and value volunteerism, joint activities, supporting neighbors in need, and attending functions together. As little time as we have leftover, it is imperative to schedule in some time to engage in the world outside of work. Join an exercise group, book club, church, or volunteer project. Model the importance of interacting with and nurturing other humans.

Expand your circle. Sometimes we expect our BFF or partner to fulfill every friendship and connection gap. Some friends fill the adventure slot, others work co-venters, while others are nurturers, exercise buddies, listeners, jokesters, and mind stretchers, etc. Rather than ditching a friend or colleague who does not meet our, expand your circle instead.

Modern research suggests, instead of dumping the friends you have in the quest for more perfect need-fillers, try adding a diversity of low maintenance connections into your circle who each compliment one of your interests. Identify your unique connection needs and then allow different people to fill gaps. More is better.

Connect with co-workers for work relief. When it comes to metabolizing secondary trauma work-stress, it is imperative to connect with colleagues, whether in a formal peer support setting or with co-workers who are skilled listeners and can help reengage the parasympathetic response after a stress event. Be mindful that the content of our work as prosecutors can be harmful to our partners and family members and the last thing we want to do is to spread secondary trauma throughout our homes. Remember that peer support is not a place for limitless venting or complaining.

Learn to be a better listener. Connection skills at the organizational level should be required as basic competencies and can be a simple as:

1. Noticing a difficult situation for a co-worker.

2. Asking things like, “What’s going on? What else?”

3. Saying, “I’m interested. Go on.”

4. Listening in presence, without trying to fix it or relate a personal story.

5. Acknowledging the difficulty. “That’s really hard. I’m sorry. Let me know if I can help.”

6. And, providing resources if appropriate.

Taking these simple steps can make the world of difference for a colleague in distress and can immediately turn off their internal stress response. We may not be able to operate in a close-knit culture like Sardinia, but we can take advantage of a little bit of what makes them thrive and incorporate it into our lives.

Kirsten Pabst is the former elected prosecutor in Missoula County, Montana. She previously chaired NDAA’s Wellbeing Committee and is the author of Thriving Through Chaos — Survival Gear for Criminal Justice Professionals. She can be reached at kirstenpabst@gmail.com.